On adventures, I often think of my grandparents. I miss them. Even though they were rarely able to leave their Midwest farms, they would listen to stories of my travels. My grandma Betty would have done this if she could have, and it’s her spirit of adventure that fuels me here. I brought her with me in a ring my aunt gave me before I left. Originally I had meant to leave the ring at Cruz de Ferro, as many do, tokens from those who are now gone. But I couldn’t, she isn’t my burden to leave. There are many older people on the Camino, and there are times that as we walk with them, Jake will whisper “that’s my Papa, if he was French and feisty”. Papa was one of those things, and it wasn’t French. They are each with us as we walk, a part of who we have become.
A couple of days ago we were sharing a good meal with several other pilgrims. An older German man was sitting next to me, and I was talking with him about his Camino. He reminded me of my Grandpa Pete, a man who would have none of the shenanigans, none, but still tender to his core. The German’s accent was very thick, but better than my German, so we made do. He said, that he was here on the Camino because he had worked too hard his whole life, and he had lost his wolf gang. “His wolf gang”, he repeated it several times because he thought I misunderstood. But I got it. Just as when I would talk with my grandpa, it all started spilling out. “Yes! I said, we need each other, we need our wolf packs” (I corrected his English idiom). Jake gave me a loving smirk and let me continue my conversation with my “grandpa”.
It is moments that build a wolf pack. It doesn’t have to be big stuff, like walking across Spain. It’s the quiet moment after breakfast, the moment before a sunset, or god-forbid putting together a puzzle. Taking moments builds trust, because they say you are important. I work too hard, like my new friend, and I miss moments. I grab what I need and then move on to the next thing on my list. My list never has “take a moment” on it. Since we have been on the Camino, I have not seen one individual with a to-go coffee cup or even a thermos. Cause you sit your butt down with a glass mug and you drink your coffee. And with that coffee you have a moment, sometimes if you are lucky with a friend, and you get to have a moment together. Spain isn’t making us a wolf pack, taking the moments are. That is what the Camino does, it makes people who would ordinarily not take a moment- take it. Kind of like Whole 30 for the workaholic, it’s a detox. You have to take a moment, cause your feet hurt too much to walk and drink coffee at the same time. As we are nearing the end, I am realizing it isn’t the kilometers, it is the second breakfasts that are making this my pilgrimage. It’s listening to Claire’s joke, or about Charlotte’s new book, or Jake’s ideas about a food truck, it is making a moment. And those moments are making us a wolf pack.
We need each other. I can’t make it to the end of this Camino without a wolf pack. And life is too hard and ugly to make it through without one either. One of our original goals was to spend time with OUR family ON the Camino. I hope we have done much more than that. I hope we have learned to take moments wherever we are, not just ON the Camino but at every breakfast, sunset and puzzle. And I hope that our wolf pack extends beyond just OUR family. We have met so many people on the Camino who do not look like us, talk like us, or are awake at 2:00 in the afternoon. They are my wolf pack. My friends back home- wolf pack. My church- wolf pack. My parents and extended family- wolf pack. My grandparents who have all passed away- wolf pack. But only if I take the moment. My new friend just let me talk, and like my grandpa patiently and quietly listened as we ate together, sharing a moment, creating a new pack.
The next morning as we were leaving, I saw my German friend’s backpack on the ground, with a name tag clearly spelled out. WOLFGANG. Horrified, I pointed it out to Jake. He smirked, “Yeah, I know. But that was too awesome to stop you.”
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